this weekend was really amazingly good and sweet, but because irritation is often what forces expression, i am now going to discuss the only disturbing thing that happened to me all weekend.

on the 43 masonic. coming home from the presidio, a crazy gibbering man holding a wooden stick got on and sat across from us. he was speaking a madman's language to unseen forces, and wielding his weird stick. i was weathering it okay. but then, he coughed a wad of phlegm into his hand, and wiped it on the pole/handrail next to him. rather than stare at the dripping wad of phlegm as it lingered on the pole that someone else (someone like me) would later use to lower or raise themselves into a seat, i suggested we exit the bus POST HASTE.

my thoughts regarding this incident are as follows:

1. one of the reasons i love san francisco is because it is a liberal place, a place for dropouts, punks, misfits, sexual deviants, and anyone else otherwise unable to function in less liberal locales. i never want it to go the way of NYC in the 90s - giuliani'd and bloomberged into whitewashed super clean creepiness. san francisco flirts with that destiny, but i have always felt its fucked up misfit heart will prevail. even our rich people are nerd misfits.

but, if this city is truly going to be a place that tolerates, nay, encourages, complete madness and misfittery, then we need to get better at supporting and caring for the people who are here because of the endless liberal tolerance. why doesn't our city, refugee camp of misfits from everywhere, do a better job at supporting the most lost of our brethren? people who are sick, crazy, possibly dangerous, should be looked after, not roaming at will in the city.

i just can't believe that for all our liberalness and prosperity, we still can't handle the basic task of sheltering and caring for these people.

also, i've had far more interaction with the bodily fluids of the homeless masses in the past two years than i can really handle. the constant exposure to homeless people puking and coughing up phlegm and pissing around my apartment is starting to make me lose a little humanity. lately this stuff has just made me feel angry, grossed out, and beleaguered, instead of feeling sympathy and compassion for the poor souls who have to suffer their bodily woes without a safe warm place to rest. it makes me sad that i am becoming city-callous.

2. muni is disgusting. between phlegm, service cuts, broken down busses, and stabbings, i am newly motivated to get my bike into working and happy status so i can ride it to work. i am afraid of cars, but biking is basically the ONLY sense-making way to commute in san francisco anymore. driving is impossible, the bus is gross.

BUT, I SAY ALL THIS AFTER A DAY SPENT IN THE PRESIDIO, LOOKING AT THE PALACE OF FINE ARTS AND THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE GLOWING IN THE SUNSHINE, AND BEING SO AMAZED THAT SAN FRANCISCO EXISTS AT ALL. HOW CAN WE HAVE THOSE THINGS ALL RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER? WHAT A FUCKING AMAZING PLACE. TRULY. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

i mean, we live in a city that has the bike kitchen in it. and bound together book collective. volunteers who just want to help you fix your bike, or help you get books about how to overthrow capitalism while preparing ayahausca, or similar. amazing. this is a really great place.

the bus is just really gross.

okay.