I see a lot of people coming to my site via google searches related to uterine fibroids. Occasionally the search terms are really sad to see, because they show that people are searching on the details of miserable fibroid pain. Today I saw a particularly sad search go by in my logs, and it made me want to go hug the person who was searching. It also made me wish my site had more to offer than the scattershot entries from when I had a huge fibroid (that I later had surgically removed). Since I can't stalk every fibroid-haver and hug them, here's a very quick run down of what I learned from my fibroid, and what helped my symptoms. Maybe it will help people who are googling, or at least be a jumping off point for further research.

1. Read the chapters on fibroids in Christiane Northrup's amazing book Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. These chapters are full of great info about the emotional factors related to fibroids. I found those, and her other chapters about fertility (which you may also be concerned about) to be enormously helpful and reassuring. She has some case studies on women whose fibroids shrank naturally, as well as some thoughts about the energetics of fibroids and how they can be tied to emotional situations in our lives.

2. No one knows what causes fibroids, but doctors have figured out that excess estrogen encourages fibroid growth. Do what you can to eliminate excess estrogen in your body. There are different theories about what causes this so-called "estrogen dominance," but if you start to read up on it, chances are you'll find causes that seem relevant to your lifestyle or diet.

Lowering estrogen levels can be about diet changes, exercise, or it can be about lowering stress levels in your life. Estrogen and anxiety go hand in hand. For me, quitting coffee was very helpful in lowering my estrogen levels. According to this page, women who drink coffee can have up to 70% more estrogen in their system!! not cool.

Christiane Northrup recommends a multivitamin containing all the B vitamins and a few other important minerals for lowering estrogen. Some people say to eat more vegetables and whole grains, give up soy (which mimics estrogen in the system - though the soy debate is very inconclusive), and give up red meat since cows are often pumped full of estrogen and other hormones. They also say to avoid dairy and sugar. There are conflicting recommendations, but as you research you'll discover common overlap and probably be able to determine what diet changes are most relevant to you.

Estrogen levels are also related to liver function, since the liver is what flushes excess estrogen from your system. If your liver is challenged (ie: you drink a lot), that can also be a consideration.

3. For relief of fibroid related pain, consider seeing a chiropractor or trying acupuncture. My fibroid was pressing on my sciatic nerve, referring pain along my thigh and sometimes into my foot, especially when I lay down. The pain was worse when my bladder was full. It was awful. Visits to a chiropractor, plus a good deal of hip-opening asanas in yoga, alleviated this pain almost completely. Massage was also very helpful, too. It seemed like the key was making more space in my guts for the fibroid by adjusting my bones and muscles.

4. Surgery is not as scary as you might think. I was terrified to have surgery to have my fibroid removed, but it turned out to be completely worth it. I had surgery at the UCSF Fibroid Center in San Francisco. I cannot recommend them highly enough! It was a huge relief to have my fibroid remove, and I would do it again in a second.

Here are some potentially gross before & after photos of my uterus, abdomen, and fibroid during and after surgery, for the curious..

That is all for now. I hope this helps someone! I am happy to email about fibroids if you want to talk.

at the SFist and SFappeal: "Acting Governor Jerry Brown Declares State of Emergency in San Francisco County" (that's here.)

since when is jerry brown our acting governor? i missed a memo.

it's still raining.

chiamattt uploaded these fantastic pictures of me tasting king cobra for the first and last time, while wearing raver candy, with a shaved head, in my old apartment on 15th and south van ness, in 1999. that's right. take it in. the glory of the end of the 90s. right there.

finished fortress of solitude yesterday. the second part wasn't as good as the first part. i started feeling like reading it was a chore i had to finish so i could MOVE ON. it was mostly good though, the first part especially. sometimes my problem with books and movies is that i am not very interested in plot, instead i just i like exposition and description leading up to plot points. there's a lot of movies i just turn off when the action starts, and books i put down when things start getting gnarly between characters. maybe it's a control issue!

speaking of lack of action. today: totally fucking useless. woke up, made chai, put on a dress and tights to try to prove to myself i was motivated and engaging with the world, but then just got back in bed in all my finery.

jarett's taking pratfalls and communing with yoko on the floor to try to entertain me out of my morosity. morose-ness.

sittin' around posting nonsense on tumblr and trying to think of anything i'd want to eat. and musing aloud about various psychological challenges of the past few years.

gotta go back to work tomorrow. have been working downtown since 2010 began, which has pros and cons. last week i heard some lady order a latte "heated to 130 degrees." to be downtown between 9 & 5 can definitely mean interacting with a crushing lack of whimsy in people around you, members of the workaday world. it gives me pause. i also have some kind of psychogeographical memory of a former version of myself who once worked downtown, so it takes a little work to rise above the habit and memory of those streets and recontextualize into the NOW of me. on the other hand, the bay is gorgeous to be around, and the ferry building is the best place to go for lunch ever.

fell asleep 4am saturday night to the sound of foghorns. woke up around 11 today, my brunch date cancelled, then my wandering-around-the-mission date cancelled. lay in bed trying to remember the last time i'd walked over to valencia, and could not remember. possibly it was before thanksgiving, before the winter tour.

walked over to valencia. on the way there, for about a block, i truly wondered if having a community that cares about you might be more important than the personal accomplishments solitude engenders. i was probably thinking about omega. after i wondered that i was shocked, it was the first time in a couple of years that it actually seemed like a real concern.

went to tartine. ate goat cheese, read more ofthe fortress of solitude, got barked at by some person needing me to move seats so she could be more comfortable. fucking tartine. it's always good, but also always forces me to deal with at least one objectionable personality.

thought about san francisco on the way home. was feeling way alienated from the sunday mission crowd. their outfits and bicycles. just when i was feeling pretty bleak about the subject i decided to go investigate the new borderlands cafe, though, and all was redeemed. 50 cent sci fi paperbacks, couches, pastries, and coffee. nothing too fancy, nothing too slick. hugs to you, borderlands cafe.

came home full of writing ideas from the walk, sat down at computer and immediately poured out some pages, then looked at facebook and found out xep and rob's baby was born!!! they named her kestrel fern, and i totally wept with happiness, then began the process of frantically reloading facebook awaiting photos. none yet, alas.

got in bed with all my clothes on, ostensibly to read more fortress of solitude, but of course passed out into a nap after a couple sunday chattin' phone calls with jarett, dreamt of kestrel fern wrapped in a blanket. woke up, went to st francis, got a milkshake.

life is good.