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08 July 2005; 12:52 AM

status update

before i begin my status update:

all hail toshok, for he hath made my RSS feeds no longer suck. chris toshok: expert in not sucking.

now, the updates.

coffee

i have been cutting back on the coffee. so far, this has meant taking one or two days off then having a small cup, then taking a day off, then back on. and supplementing with tea in between days. i really enjoy the perspective i get from taking little breaks like this. i haven't been able to quit altogether, nor been too interested in that as of yet.

there was a time at omega when i drank no coffee for months at a time. my revelation then was "wow, i'm not a stressed out person!" Now, i feel that the days off from the brew are days that i sleep better and notice more about the world around me.

i'm really happy with the cutting back approach, rather than the cold hard suffering of "oh i'm quitting forever." punishing oneself is not the goal.

regaining freakhood

after a long period of feeling fat, boring, and uninspired, i am endeavoring to rekindle some of the optimistic freakhood that lives within me. the evidence of my new battle to return to the fringe of society is as follows:

1. i went to an astrology lecture last night.
   heidi and i went to hear antero alli discuss his thoughts on the most commonly used asteroids in astrology. if you are curious, they are: chiron, juno, vesta, pallas-athene, and ceres. i took a lot of notes, and that felt good. i have so many notebooks filled with notes and photocopies about astrological things. they have been neglected, these scrawlings and investigations, for almost the entire year that i've been back in SF. i am glad to be back on track.

   (afterward we walked all the way from the marina to fillmore and california, and i felt very myself and very excited to be free and ran up the hills. heidi was unphased by my excitable hill traversing, which means she has the right priorities in life.)



2. i am volunteering at center camp cafe at burning man.
   that's right, instead of grumping about burning man being filled with drunks and strippers now, and hiding in my tent moping and grooming, i'm just going to involve myself as much as possible. i'm really really really excited about this concept, though i'm trepidatious about commuting across the playa to volunteer. it's strange to have responsibilities there. it means having to know what time it is, and it also means that i will need to get a playa routine of some sort so i can be prepared, acclimate, and work hard each day. my usual mode there is to spend hours pacing around camp trying to find what i need and generally being very inefficient. that will have to change a bit. i'm really psyched though.


3. i am taking a three day hooping class.
   well, actually, it is a "hoopdance intensive" and i'm very nervous about it! but i love hooping and i hope that i will meet some nice people and have fun and be motivated by being around other hoopers! time to drop the self-judging 'i'm not like those flouro burning man hoopgirls' attitude and just immerse in doin something i like. i'm scared.


4. some other plans which i'm too sleepy to elaborate on, involving new college, permaculture, and community. let's call it a general reinvestment in the concepts surrounding communal living.

i am very sleepy and not the best at writing conclusions.